What a Way to Go!

by Eliot Wilder

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I saw you fall into a black hole
When I reached out to you
You let go
After such a long trip
You simply lost your grip
And now I can't find you


released May 11, 2016

Cover girl: Astrid (with thanks to Chris)

This one is for Prince Rogers Nelson.



all rights reserved


Eliot Wilder Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: The Joke's on Me
Thought that I could make it fly
Thought I could be that kind of guy
But the joke's on me
Thought I could be your number one
Turns out I'm all washed up and done
And the joke's on me

Thought that I got it all down jake
Didn't know so much stuff was at stake
And the joke's on me
Wish I had just a lick of sense
Wouldn't be so stuck if I weren't so dense
And the joke's on me

The joke's on me

I used to wish upon a star
But wishing sure didn't get me far
And the joke's on me
I used to think there was always hope
But now I know I'm a big ol' dope
And the joke's on me

I'm a fool baby
Yeah, that's me confessin'
I'm a fool baby
Well you know that I ain't messin'
I'm a fool baby
I'm as dumb as they come
I'm a fool baby
That's a rule of thumb
Track Name: You Gotta Be Kidding
All you do is work, work, work, work
Never stop with work, work, work, work
All you do is fret, fret, fret, fret
Never stop with fret, fret, fret, fret
All you do is push, push, push, push
Never stop with push, push, push, push
All you do is kill, kill, kill, kill
Never stop with kill, kill, kill, kill
Don't you stop it

You gotta be kidding
You gotta be kidding me

All you do is love, love, love, love
Never stop with love, love, love, love
All you do is hate, hate, hate, hate
Never stop with hate, hate, hate, hate
All you do is give, give, give, give
Never stop with give, give, give, give
All you do is take, take, take, take
Never stop with take, take, take, take
Don't you stop it

All you do is lie, lie, lie, lie
Never stop with lie, lie, lie, lie
All you do is fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
Never stop with fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
All you do is shit, shit, shit, shit
Never stop with shit, shit, shit, shit
All you do is burn, burn, burn, burn
Never stop with burn, burn, burn, burn
Don't you stop it
Track Name: Funny Kind of Guy
He makes it all up
And for what
It's not like anyone told him to
Sometimes he kills
Sometimes he bombs
Sometimes they hit him with a shoe
But he hangs around
This silly ol' clown
Nothing seems to keep him down
He gets on by
With his sly charm
He flips over your ol' frown

No one can deny
He's a funny kind of guy
Ha, ha, ho, ho
So why's he make you cry
This funny kind of guy

He works a crowd
Just like a pro
Just like a stand-up comedian
He busts you up
Tears you apart
Right down the median
He is subtle
No easy jokes
Makes you work hard for a laugh
And when he dies
He will be missed
They'll put "Funny" on his epitaph

Who's laughing now at this funny kind of guy
Who's laughing now when he makes you wanna cry
Who's laughing now at this funny, funny kind of guy

Sometimes he's on top
Sometimes he's not
It all depends on the day of the week
But when he's good
He's really good
You laugh so hard you can barely speak
He gets depressed
But you'd never know
He puts it in the act
He's a master
Of subterfuge
Yes that's one cold, hard fact
Track Name: Ragged and Raw
What you see is
What you see is
What you see is
What is

What I say is
What I say is
What I say is
What is
What is

Started out here and wound up there
Started out perfection with nary a flaw
Started out with the best intentions
But wound up all ragged and raw

What I dream is
What I dream is
What I dream is
What is

What I need is
What I need is
What I need is
What is
Track Name: Sneaky
You tell me that I'm lookin' good
That I'm downright smokin'
You tell me that I'm pretty darn hot
For a guy who should be a-croakin'

You gimme so many mad props
That my head is all swolled up
Keep 'em all a-comin'
No don't let me interrupt

You tell me what I wanna hear
You know just what to say
You say it again and again
You don't go away

Yeah you got the gift of gab
And you're downright cheeky
But underneath the thin facade
Is a dude who is pretty sneaky

You tell me that I'm pretty smart
Like I'm some sort of Einstein
You tell me I'm only getting better
That I'm aging like fine wine

You build me up buttercup
Make me feel like a million bucks
You say I dress pretty snappy
The essence of deluxe

I wanna believe you
As you stroke my tattered ego
I don't wanna know your motives
Just wanna go with the flow

You tell me that I make you laugh
You love my sense of humor
And the shit people lay on you
Well that's just a bad old rumor

You really have a heart of gold
If anyone should to take a look
You're not some kind of hustler
Not some two-timin' douche-bag schnook

I wanna defend you
But then I look a little bit closer
And underneath your brief grin
I see the man who is the poseur
Track Name: She Came From Duquesne
She wore a red ribbon
In her tousled auburn hair
She wrote in her journal
She had a certain savior faire
She came to my door
With a shiny smile as bright as the sun
She said, I know you've been waiting
Let's have us some fun

She came from Duquesne
She said her name was Jane
Now I can't get her off of my brain

She was a dreamer
And I was a part of her dream
I peeked in her journal
To see where I fit in her scheme
She said, He will be famous
And I will go along for the ride
Like John and Yoko
Like when worlds collide

And even though
I don't see her anymore
This girl from Duquesne
She's still running around my brain
Track Name: Far Away
I live in the here and now
Not some place way over there
I exist in present time
The only time 'bout which I care

And I don't care about the past
It don't concern me no how
When you ask me how I have been
It's more how I am right now

And now I am so far away
So far away right now

I am not stuck in a place and time
I just play it as it lays
Some people long for bygone nights
But I don't count the days

I'm not saying I'm above it all
I'm not really different than you
I just let myself go, I let myself go
It's how I learned to continue

It's not that I'm in some kind of denial
Or that I wanna pretend about what I've done
I know who I am and what I'm capable of
My misdeeds weigh about a ton

But the only way to go is up and ahead
The only way out is a straight line
You can come along and see what is what
Or you can stay back and you can pine
Track Name: April Always Brings Me Down the Most
Winter's about wrapped it up
And the days are getting brighter
Leaves are budding on the trees
The darkness is turning lighter
But I just can't seem to cope
Despite the breaks of sun
I should be out living it up
But I'm not having fun

April always brings me down
April always brings me down
April always brings me down the most

They tell me stop being a drag
The world is not so bad
But every time I look around
I start to feel so sad
No I am not out of my mind
Despite how it appears
I am being reasonable
With reasonable fears

April showers bring May flowers
Yes that much is true
But April only ever brings me down
Brings me down and blue

Some people they love the springtime
When everything is in bloom
But April makes me think of you
And that fills me with such gloom
April's when you went away
Never to come back
All around the world is green
But I only see the black
Track Name: What a Way to Go!
Nina she choked on a marshmallow
And she died right on the spot
I wonder if she felt pathetic
And what was her last thought
Ho, ho, ho
What a way to go

Well you can toil and you can try
But one of these days you will die
That's a fact of life that you must know
You don't want 'em to laugh
What a way to go

Bobby died in flagrante delicto
With a woman who wasn't his wife
Bet he never thought that this was the way
That he would end his life
Ho, ho, ho
What a way to go

Well you can struggle and you can strive
But none of these things will ever keep you alive
From the king of kings to your average Joe
When you're toast you're toast
What a way to go

Life is mean and life is sick
Life will play you the cruelest trick

You think you got it goin' on
Don't you know that you're just a pawn
You think you got it altogether
But one day your hand will slip from its tether

And what you gonna do
What you gonna do
Ho, ho, ho
What a way to go

Jimmy he died from laughing
No really he died from a joke
He laughed so hard he could not breathe
And then he started to choke
Ho, ho, ho
What a way to go

Well you can worry and you can fret
But you can't fight every mortal threat
When the reaper well you can't know
Ho, ho, ho
What a way to go
Track Name: The Carousel Is Closed
We hope that you've enjoyed your ride
We tried to make it fun
But the horses all are tired now
For them the day is done
You've had so many uppity-ups
And you've had so many downs
We played you the old calliope
And you loved its clanky sounds

The carousel is closed now
Please exit to your right
The carousel is closed now
See you later, nighty-night

We hope that we have made your day
And gave you cause to sing
We have spun you 'round and 'round
And offered a brass ring
You wish it would go on and on
You want it to never cease
But all good things must come to an end
Tension and release

The carousel is closing down
But we'll be back some sunny day
Until then my faithful friend
Unless the horses run away

We hope that you'll remember us
Every sight and every sound
Paste us in your memories
This sweet old merry-go-round
You've gone 'round on this roundabout
Till you nearly flipped your lids
It's time for us to shut it down
Now get out of here you lousy kids
Track Name: My Eternal Rest
Now I lay, lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Hold me close and make me blessed
And lead me to my eternal rest

Now I lay, lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
Lord be with me through the night
And keep me till, till the morning light
Hold me close and make me blessed
And lead me to my eternal rest

Now I lay, lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
If I should live for other days
I pray the Lord to guide my ways
Hold me close and make me blessed
And lead me to my eternal rest